Blood Diner (1987)
Review by Jeff Hudson

Directed by: Jackie Kong

Starring:
Rick Burks/Michael
Carl Crew/George
Drew Godderis/Anwar
Lisa Elaina/Connie

Plot:
Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts from virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a blood buffet.

Acting:
The acting here is so over the top and funny you couldn’t ask for anything more, Rick Burks(Michael and Carl Crew(George) are great as crazy cool brothers, Drew Godderis(Anwar) is funny as the brain that like to make derogatory remarks toward women throughout the film and adds a lot of great comedy to the movie, Lisa Elaina(Connie) is ok but is not used much in the movie.

Gore:
This is where the movie shines it is a “blood Buffet”, we get a shovel to the head, eyes popped out, gunshots, bodies cut up, a girl deep fried, heads cut off, guts ripped out, a girl cut in half, flesh eating, arms ripped off and tons more.

T & A:
Holy shitar we get 9 pairs of breasts, 1 bush shot, and a dudes butt.

Directing:
Jackie does a wonderful job making this a real fun comedy/horror movie, he gives us lots of fucked up random scenes and the film looks pretty nice for the most part.

Soundtrack:
We get some cool 50’s music and a mild score underneath the crazy movie.

Final thoughts:
Blood Diner is a rare gem that probably only will come along once in a lifetime, it is way over the top with blood and guts galore, and so much random scenes you have to watch it twice to catch everything. If you like crazy horror/comedy movies you have to see this. I give it a 10/10.