Review by Adam Thomas
Directed by Philippe Mora
Starring Barry Otto, Imogen Annesley, Leigh Biolos, and Max Fairchild
Australia, land of aborigines, comically over sized beer, giant killer everything, and nightmares. It is also home to some species of animals that can not be found anywhere else in the world. So, in a fantasy world, where things like, oh, say werewolves, actually existed, one could imagine they would be present the world over, even in places like Australia. However, they would take on the form of whatever animals were indigenous to their native locale. At least, hollywood thinks so. In this movie, we are treated (natch) to were-marsupials. Yes, you read that right. Lycanthropes who have a pouch where the young hibernate until they are finished growing. It starts innocently enough, with a young woman named Jaboa. She runs away from her oppressive stepfather and her were-koala tribe, and maks her way to Sydney with stars in her eyes. She is picked up by hot shot assistant director of Shape Shifters part 8 Donny Martin. He immediately falls in love with her, and insists she come to play one of the roles in his film. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the island of children's screams, Professor Beckmeyer is conducting studies and teaching classes about these elusive were-things based on footage his grandfather filmed over 80 years ago, and reports of supposed were-attacks in the Soviet Union. He gets wind of a Russian ballet dancer named Olga who has come to Sydney to perform at the Sydney Opera House. Coincidentally, his partner, Prof. Sharp has been invited to watch a rehearsal of said ballet, and invites Beckmeyer to come with him.
Donny and Jaboa fall madly in love, almost instantly, and he can't live without that were-lovin. Beckmeyer falls in love with Olga, after a hilarious scene involving ballerinas and werewolves, which is either the greatest thing ever written, or the product of too much acid and Skittles. Naturally, the government wants to eradicate this threat to humanity, and the scientists want to pick it apart, while Beckmeyer goes into lust throes over the discovery of a new sub-species of human that has evolved in secret for years and years. Oh, and there were were-nuns, too. Yep, I said it: a traveling trio of were-nuns. They were never explained, but basically, they were the protectors of all socially oppressed were-wallabies.
My first impression when I saw this movie was comic disbelief. I didn't think this movie would be any good. It just screamed shameless horror cash-in. I was mildly entertained, but overall, this movie could have been a lot better. I'll cut it some slack, being from the 80s, but there is just too much wrong with this movie for me to seriously recommend it to anyone. The special effects were better than I expected, and I appreciated the lampooning of cheesy horror movies, but the plot was over saturated with love stories. Also, any movie that depicts a live were-baby crawling out of an actress' lady parts and cuddling into a pouch on her stomach is losing points. No one wants to see live animals crawl out of the naughty bits, regardless of what they say. The ending of this movie was far too sappy for a horror movie, in my opinion.
This movie felt more like a romantic comedy with some were-kangaroos thrown in for fun, than an actual horror movie. It was definitely more comedy than horror. If you like slapstick horror, check it out. If you dig unintentional, then intentional bestiality, check it out. If the image of a were-family warms the cockles of your heart, check it out. If you're a fan of horror movies, you could do better than this. You may or may not enjoy it, but be warned: It's pretty terrible.
I give this one a 4 out of 10.