Santa's Slay (2005)

Review by Tim-O



Starring: Bill Goldberg, Robert Culp
Directed by David Steiman
Never judge a book by its cover. That cliché has never been more true than when it comes to the movie "Santa's Slay". I've seen this movie on store and rental shelves for a couple of years now and have always dismissed it, solely on the cover and it's seemingly standard ultralow budget packaging. Also, the film touts Bill Goldberg and Robert Culp (of "The Greatest American Hero" TV show fame) as its stars. Now, I love pro wrestling and have great respect for Mr. Culp as an actor but let's face it, retired pro wrestlers and aging character actors in a direct-to-video movie about a killer Santa Claus are not exactly a recipe for success. Until now.

Here's the synopsis of the movie from Netflix: 'Jolly old Saint Nick (Bill Goldberg) isn't making a gift list this year -- he's making a hit list, checking it twice and unleashing his inner demon for an unforgettably terrifying Christmas. A bet that Santa lost to an angel 1,000 years ago has expired, and now he's hell-bent on spreading some holiday fear. As the big day approaches, only young Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) and his grandfather (Robert Culp) can stop him.

The bet the synopsis is referring to is at the heart of this movie. Santa, actually being a brute, but spreading Christmas cheer for 1,000 years against his will works as a wonderful plot device. I found the whole reworking of the Santa mythos an absolute hoot! Goldberg's Santa resembles Thor, and his "sleigh" is pulled by a flying, snorting bull/buffalo beast instead of the traditional reindeer. Culp, as Santa's age old nemesis, is great fun as well. There is some violence and gore but this movie is not geared toward the "Saw" crowd. If you don't like goofy horror/comedy, steer clear of this flick. It really reminds me of the fun 90's "Jack Frost" killer snowman movies by Michael Cooney. If you liked those films, you'll probably absolutely love this one. I also need to mention something without being a total "spoiler". The cameos in this movie are jaw dropping! I don't mean a Lloyd Kaufman cameo, either. I mean well known actors that are household names that your mom would even identify. I was so struck that I had to make sure I was streaming the correct movie!

"Santa's Slay" sounds silly and it certainly is but this movie never tries to insult the viewer's intelligence. In fact, the cast and crew seem to have embraced the ludicrous story and invite the audience to have a blast enjoying it as much as they obviously had making it. It has a slick look, great F/X, good acting (especially from Culp and even Goldberg!) and fantastic writing that's original and NEVER boring. (Anyone who reads my reviews knows that a movie that's boring is the kiss of death for me right away no matter what the artistic merit. Ever see "Anti-Christ" by Lars Von Trier? ughhh!)

"Santa's Slay" is exciting, funny, fast, and clever as hell. It's streaming in HD on Netflix and I highly recommend giving it a watch. I bet you end up purchasing the disc soon after. What a great Christmas gift idea, too! 9/10