Review by W. Schaeffer Tolliver
I would include a spoiler warning, but this movie went bad on the shelf.
Endowed with a logo and title designed to capitalize on the other recent shape-shifting giant robot movies, Transmorphers: The Fall of Man continues the tradition that the original Transmorphers began in 2007, except it's a prequel! Set in the modern day (as opposed to the original which is set hundreds of years in the future) Transmorphers: Fall of Man is pretty standard alien invasion fare mixed with a hint of Maximum Overdrive and obviously Transformers (for those that are interested, this type of film is referred to as a “knockbuster”).
Beginning with the senseless death of a woman driving while talking on a cell phone that turns into a spider-bot consistently attempts to deliver the thrills. Yes, attempts. The effects are okay for a low-budget movie, but the robots don't look all that menacing because they have the Volvo logo on their torsos or the one that was a satellite dish that looks like a beta-test for a Cylon.
Other than a catatonic woman on a couch watching static on a television, Bruce Boxleitner is the only shining bright point of acting in this movie (and the only reason it has a 2 rating). The main hero Jake, played by Shane Van Dyke who also wrote the script does a decent acting job but nothing to really stand out. A confusing, I don't know what she really does “scientist” and another chick running around dressed like a 1960s go-go dancer round out the major cast.
The basis of the plot is that mysterious American government agents with unexplained British accents receive an infrared signal from space. They piss off the robots and leave five people to defend Edwards Air Force Base, which looks like a power plant with a row of helicopters. Fortunately all the government agents die and we don't have to listen to them talk anymore. But before they die they explain that computer chips built from Roswell wreckage mean everything with a microchip can transmorph. But mostly we see the Killer Volvo robot.
After we get rid of the bad computer chips, we have an unnecessary love scene with sappy rock music then the planet gets attacked by robots that look like a gentle rain of 12-sided dice. But since we already shut down the computers there isn't any way to warn anyone or organize our defenses to stop them. Our survivors run about in the rural areas because, rightly so there are fewer electronic devices there. And the teenager with a heart problem who we only see in this scene but was mentioned in the first 10 minutes has her pacemaker become an Alien chest burster robot.
Eventually they run into Random Badass Guy. Random Badass Guy shows up and tells them about the terraforming the robots are doing. How do they know the things are terraforming the Earth?
Because, as the Random Badass Guy says, “The Ruskies tortured one.”
Jake: “How do you torture a robot?!”
Random Badass Guy: “Insult it's motherboard!”
This movie also has way too many “get in and out of the car” scenes. Like 20 too many. They get out of the car and run several yards just to have the other characters scream “get back into the car!”. The folks at Asylum were kind enough to point this out in the bloopers reel!
The movie finally ends with a Terminator like voice over, except this isn't John Conner. Not even from T3. Then the very welcome sight of the end credits with the same singer from love scene, who isn't bad but just doesn't fit in with the rest of the movie. Decent music except the love scene.
The best thing about this dvd is the menu, maybe the trailers. This movie has some major faults, but it's meant to be a downer, it is The Fall of Man after all.
Best quote: “They've seen them transmorph. A car. A satellite dish.” - NSA Agent with a British accent (and worse acting skills than Stephen Hawking).
This movie will lower your IQ.